I saw a post on LinkedIn this week from a woman announcing her retirement from Meta after almost 20 years.1 She took the job at Facebook in 2007 with the intention of figuring out her life, and “accidentally got an entire 19+ year career instead."
She was beyond grateful for the life-changing opportunity, and proud of her work in child safety, education, and policy.
Then came the line that struck me the most:
“I used to say I bleed Facebook blue, and that has not changed.”
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t immediately send the post to a friend with a snarky “sounds like a cult!”
I’m an anthropologist, a researcher, and a skeptic, so I’m always looking for signals and patterns, and reading between the lines. I've learned enough about cults and corporate rhetoric to know it when I see it, and to understand what they do to a person’s sense of self.2 But I also try to be fair and consider the facts in front of me.
I scrutinized the post for any evidence to prove my point, but trying to decode any deeper meaning would be a guessing game. The OP seemed genuinely grateful for her time at Meta, but I don't know her story, her motivations, or really anything about her experience working there.
What I can do is look at her post and connect the language to what I know about Meta's inner workings, and place it within the broader context of corporate culture, worker exploitation, and the way people come to tie their identities to their jobs.
Manufactured belonging and identity
It’s a natural human thing to want to belong and to do work that matters, especially when we spend so much of our lives at work. When a company says "we're a family," or "you'll do the best work of your life here," it’s speaking to our deep need to belong, and when it’s done well, it feels real, and not like manipulation.
Welcoming us in with a job offer is their first act of approval. We’re encouraged to bring our whole selves to work, to be excited about using our skills and having an impact. The company validates us in return with money, kudos, titles, perks, camaraderie, and little anniversary tchotchkes.
This is where the personal and the professional can stop being separate things. The self we bring to work, the one that wants to be seen and to matter, is the same self the company aims to validate and complete. Which is exactly why manipulation tactics work so well. The engineering is on par with the science behind your favorite junk food.
None of this means the belonging you feel is fake. Your coworkers really are your friends, and the pride in your work is legit.
We don't turn our psychosocial needs off when we go to our jobs. Which means it's easy for companies to take advantage of this innate desire by manufacturing a kind of belonging that exploits our dedication, work ethic, and energy in ways that are never truly reciprocated. That’s why it’s called a Passion Tax.
The power dynamics make real reciprocity impossible, because the money and perks only go so far, especially when an organization's culture becomes devolves into pure extraction. Your employer wouldn’t feel bad taking your job away from you, but you’re likely to feel harmed if they do, or guilty about leaving your colleagues if you take a job somewhere else.
What does it mean when someone says they bleed their employer’s brand colors? It’s fair to ask if the relationship has shifted from a job where you get paid to do good work, into a deeper devotion to the mission, to something bigger. When are you no longer a person working at the company, but you are the company?
It isn’t so different from a ride or die patriot saying they “bleed the colors of the Red, White and Blue” (i.e., the American flag—an essay for another day).
Notes from the field: signs of manufactured belonging
You’ll probably recognize some of these from a job you’ve had, and maybe even one you loved. Their normalcy is exactly what makes them so powerful.
The family.
“We're a family here!" This is the kind of belonging we don’t want to lose because we actually care about our coworkers. A real family doesn’t take your livelihood away from you without notice.
Naming conventions.
Metamates. Nooglers. A special vocabulary makes you a special person. Does your company have a name for its employees?
The swag.
Enamel pins, branded hoodies and hats are wearable signals of belonging. In 2016, in my gel manicure era, I painted my finger nails in the eBay brand colors for the new employee onboarding. 😳 Don’t @ me, they looked cute! At least I never said I bleed blue, green, red and yellow.
The in-group.
Exclusive membership, hierarchies, rules, retribution or expulsion for disagreeing with leaders. Defined by who gets kept out and what gets you cast out.
The words in your mouth.
Insider jargon, mantras and slogans. The author of the post in question finishes with a Meta slogan to describe her own future: "The journey is only 1% finished!"
What happens when the whole thing goes away
When you don’t get the promotion, or the top rating, or you get a bit of constructive feedback from a manager, it can feel like a rejection of your whole self. When you lose a job, it isn’t just a logistical and material problem, it’s an existential one. A layoff without explanation can turn your world upside down, making you question whether or not you belong, and what you did to deserve it. The more entwined your sense of self is with your job, the harder it is to manage the loss.
This is why it matters to know who you are outside of work, to know what is true about you that your employer can never make you doubt or take away.
So before that day comes, dear reader: If you left your job tomorrow, what would your post say? Who would you be writing it for? What’s the story you’re telling yourself, and do you truly believe it? And if you’ve already left your job, would you go back and change the story you told?
2 I've got lots of podcast recommendations on cults, grifters, and con artists. Reply if you want them.
CATCH THE REPLAY!
Roberta Dombrowski and I explored the complex topic of personal and professional identity, and what to do if you don’t know who you are outside of work—whether you're currently employed or not.
Let me tell you, we have BEEN THERE. We shared our origin stories, and discussed the benefits, the downsides, and how we developed a better relationship with work once we finally noticed something was wrong.
Thanks to everyone who joined us! Catch the replay on Youtube, or on the In Her Words podcast, wherever fine podcasts are served.
We’ve been here and our clients have been here, so if this sounds like you, you’re in good company. Find the live recording on Youtube, on the In Her Words podcast, and wherever fine podcasts are served.
Ready to untangle yourself from what you do?
Whether you’re in a job, leaving it, or deciding what comes next, the goal is to do work that matters without it being your entire identity. This is right up my alley and I’d love to be your thinking partner.
Thanks for reading. If anything here resonates, hit reply—my inbox is open.
If you find value in my work and would like to support what I continue to build, you can do so here. 🍺
Stay true to yourself,
Amy
